Monday, November 14, 2016

nov 14

Alright, so here we go.

What do I really want to make of this? Is this somewhere that I can just ramble about my life? Where I can complain about the little things to get all the emotions out rather than taking it out on the people around me (shhh, I totally don't do that...)? A mix? Maybe writing about the things I like? I could literally talk about the Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer for days, no joke.

I feel like this will basically be an experiment. Mix up what I do until something sticks.

Let's start with today. I'm gonna complain a bit. Cool?

I love Canada and our healthcare system, but when I go to the clinic, I would like some kind of result of "hey, it seems like this is wrong with you." I hate going into the doctor's office, waiting for 45 minutes, talking to the doctor about my issues, and then the result of the one-sided conversation being "here's a form, go get a blood test." And then calling to confirm if my results are in to be told that I'll only be contacted if there's something abnormal. I'm sorry, but that doesn't really work for me... I'll be the first to admit that I'm a pretty mental person. My body likes to make itself worse if I don't know what's wrong. I'm also the absolute WORST for self-diagnosing (WebMD represent). As of right now, I probably either have gastroparesis or type 2 diabetes (which does run in my family). In reality, it's probably just cyclical. I'm stressed so I'm eating less and becoming nauseous in the morning, which is causing me to be stressed so I'm eating less and becoming nauseous in the morning, and so on and so forth. Just give me a damn answer. I'd rather have incredibly bad news than no news and have whatever is happening continue.

And here's why. My mom was in an out of doctors from the time I was 16 until I was 21. First it was arthritis, then osteoporosis, then pneumonia, then Lyme disease, and a ridiculous amount of other ones (those are just the big ones). Turns out, lung cancer, which progressed to brain cancer, which metastasised to bone. So, the pneumonia was actually lung cancer, and as we eventually learned, the pain in her hip that they thought was arthritis or osteoporosis, was bone cancer.

(I also have an unhealthy addiction to Grey's Anatomy, so who knows what an upset stomach might actually be).

Since my mom passed, I like to think that I'm somewhat more proactive with my health. If I have something bothering me that hasn't happened before, I do go to the doctor (after extensive self research, of course). All I'm asking is for a reasonable answer or someone willing to look into what might be happening. Is that too much?